The Decision

I live the contrast. 
At times it takes me
far above the earth
to another world.
My husband tells me
I go there when I'm writing—
to that other planet,
sometimes making it impossible
to communicate properly to earth.
But he protects those times for me,
insisting that I go—go to that place
where no one follows.
It is in those times
that I am able to do what I do.


The Contrast.

I had no idea the dramatic separateness, the acute closeness, if that makes sense. It will when you read my story. Like when Solomon of old visited Queen Esther and learned "the half has never been told" —as I research what took place on the continent of North America in the strangest of times, I have found that same statement to be true on a different level. "The half has not been told." At least not unless you go searching for it. Oh, it's out there, mostly in the archives of the northern newspapers. God love those editors and journalists and proprietors who dared tell the real story at the risk of being arrested or imprisoned without the right of a trial (habeas corpus). It has given me hope to know that much of the North pitied the South, loathed the way we were treated during the most hideous of wars, and tried, some to their own peril to tell the story. And I had no idea how grossly they were affected by Radical decisions that disturbed their lives, their thoughts, their days.


RACHEL, After the Darkness will be my best work, if I do say so. Maybe my last work. I keep saying that, for time is no longer on my side. Longevity has met me head on. But . . . perhaps I will be like most other writers, hesitant to lay down the pen and tablet. I've become inordinately attached to "my people" and to say good-bye to them would change my life. I don't know if I'm willing to make that change. I'm fiercely proud of my ancestors. Proud of them on a level they would not have understood during those most trying years. I have to remind myself every day that they were fighting for one reason—to defend. I'm proud of them for far more reasons than that, though it was a noble cause. I hope when you read RACHEL After the Darkness, you will understand.

From Chapter Ten of the Manuscript
The Decision
A week later, Rachel loaded the wagon, slipped the bag containing her commentary under the seat of the buckboard and covered it with two blankets. She and Samuel, once again, headed for the Jamison farm.
“It looks like rain, Samuel. I do hope not for we will get wet and cold. This may be crazy, but I can’t help myself. Am I obsessed?” she wailed, as she and Samuel sailed toward Sarepta.
“No ma’am, you’re just determined.”
“Oh, I like that better, Sam.”
“So far, so good," he said.."Just cloudy and cold.”
He struck the mules for a little more speed.
“I wonder what Jesse will think of me, coming again without an invitation.”
“You know she will be glad. And, Mama, she knows you by now anyway. Don’t worry about that part.” Sam yelled over the noise of the wagon and the thud of hooves hitting the hard-packed dirt.
“What part should I worry about, Sam?”
“I don’t know, Mama, ‘cause I have no idea what you’re writing about, but I think that has something to do with why you maybe should worry. I know how you feel about Papa and the boys going to war and Papa and Henry dying. I know. And I feel the same way. Don’t we have a right to feel some way about it?”
“Sam, you’re more discerning than a man of twenty,” said Rachel. “Thank you for your amazing insight and above all for your calmness in the storm of my life. Surely you got that trait from me, back when I exercised it properly.”
“I like that you are—what’s a good word—‘bendy’?
“That is a really good word," said Rachel, "although I hope I’m not like a ‘reed shaken in the wind’.”
“Not that,” he said, laughing. “More like a cane. One that can ‘give’ when it’s time to. Or maybe even a whole canebrake!”
“I see what you’re saying. Sturdy, but pliable? And a whole lot stubborn?”
“Yes’m, that’s it exactly. A whole lot of sturdy and pliable, Mama. And a whole lot of stubborn."

RACHEL, After the Darkness
Planned for publication in early 2014
Jane Bennett Gaddy
Trinity, FL




Comments

  1. Thank you, Skyline Spirit! Sorry I have neglected my blogs in favor of the publishing process, but today, I released the manuscript to my publisher. I will return soon. Thanks for stopping by.

    Jane BG

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